Tonyzgir's Fan Fiction

[Tonyzgir]

This is part one of my followup to Challenge 23. Hope you enjoy!




Tears In The Rain

Tony stands by the window, the tips of his fingers against the cold glass. It had been raining for three days and it didn’t look like it was going to stop anytime soon.

He was at the hospital, waiting for any signs of life from the bed. Machines beeping, I.V.s dripping. That was all he heard for the last week.

The chair was still next to the bed where he had put it. It kinda surprised him that the nurses hadn’t moved it.

From his position at the window, he could see the entire parking lot. He turned, and looked down at the sleeping figure on the hospital bed. So fragile. So helpless.

Tony hated hospitals. The smell of death was everywhere. He felt so helpless here. He knew that all he could do was wait but he wanted to do more. Anything.

He walked away from the window and sat down in the chair. Looking down at the figure, he closed his eyes. He wasn’t a religious man, but lately he had been praying a lot. It comforted him, in a way.

He had nothing but time on his hands. He had taken the vacation days he had saved up. It was a good thing that he did---he wouldn’t have been able to focus on his job anyway.

With his eyes closed, he lowered his head to the bed. Not knowing if sleep would come, he waited.

******************************

Eight days, and counting. That was how long he had sat at the hospital. Waiting to see those eyes flutter open. Waiting to hear something from the bed.

He stood up and stretched. For the first time in a week, he had actually slept for a few hours. But the dreams were still there. No longer just Jeffrey White. Now, there was a new bad guy. A new nightmare.

Tony headed back over to the window. It was still raining. Tony sighed and turned around to see a nurse had come in to take vitals. Tony waited until she was finished to pull her aside and ask his questions.

The nurse didn’t know too much but the doctor was going to be in shortly. Tony could ask him. So he waited a little while longer.

Finally, the doctor came in. Tony pulled him aside and asked his questions again.

The doctor didn’t say much. There was no change. He didn’t know how long it would be until there was a change. Tony would just have to wait until those eyes opened to look at him.

Needing a break, Tony walked outside the room and down the hall. He found himself outside the nursery. Looking at the new babies, he fought back tears that threatened to spill. Saddened, he turned around and headed back down the hall. Back to the hospital room he had been in for the last 8 days.

Walking into the room, he felt something was different. Quickening his step, he stopped at the edge of the bed. Taking a deep breath, he looked down at the bed to see bright eyes staring back at him. Breathing a sigh of relief, Tony sank into the chair. For the first time in 8 days, he didn’t fight the tears that began to flow.

It was still raining.

******************************************

The End

[Tonyzgir]

Second part to followup. One more to go.

Enjoy!


Roses In December

“I’m not fighting with you right now,” Tony said, his voice calm, his eyes anything but.

“I don’t want to fight with you, Tony.” replied Kate, as she took a deep breath. “I just wanted to talk to you.”

“Can we not do this right now?” he asked as he sat down in the hospital hallway. Curling his knees to his chest, he rested his head against the wall and looked at Kate.

She knelt beside him and placed her hand on his knee. “I came here to see how you were doing. Gibbs said when he saw you earlier, you said you hadn’t slept much.”

“I haven’t.”

“Why don’t you go home and get some rest? I’ll stay here.”

Tony shook his head. “I have to stay here.”

“Tony, you have to sleep. It’s not good for you to continue like this. I’m worried about you.”

“I’ll be fine. When this nightmare is over. I just want to wake up from this nightmare.” He lowered his head away from Kate’s gaze.

She noticed his shoulders were shaking. She hadn’t expected this. Leaning forward, she wrapped her hands around his neck. An awkward move, but something she felt he needed.

Kate never expected Tony to react this way to anything. She saw him as a jokester. She hardly got to see the softer side of him. The side that had emotions and a heart. The side he kept hidden away.

She felt his sobbing stop and pulled away from him. He looked up at her, his eyes red and moist from his tears. He looked so helpless to her. She wished there was something she could do to take away his heartache. But she knew all she could do was be there for him. Be his friend.

“Can you give me a minute alone? I want to get my composure back before going back into that room.”

“Sure.” she said as she stood up. She took one last look at him before walking away.

*******************************************

Tony took a couple of deep breaths to try and compose himself. He was tired. Running on hardly any sleep does that to a person. He was too worried to sleep. In and out of the coma but nothing certain yet.

He kept flashing back to that day. He had gotten a phone call while conducting an interview. The voice on the other end was faint, labored. “Help me.” he heard the whisper say. Tony headed off without saying a word to Gibbs. He would have to explain later.

He arrived to find a kicked in door and broken glass. Pulling his gun, he walked slowly from room to room. Finding no one, he slowly entered the bedroom. Seeing someone laying on the floor, he pulled his cell phone and called an ambulance. Putting his phone away, he walked over to the body. He knelt and felt for a pulse. Finding a very faint one, he sat on the floor and lifted her head slowly onto his lap. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath, trying not to cry. Finally, he heard the sirens.

That’s how he ended up being here for the last two weeks. Sitting by the bed, waiting for signs of life. Finally, she woke up. Tony was so relieved. Now, he had to wait until she regained consciousness for good. Right now, she was mostly out. Tony hoped for more.

***********************************

The swelling was going down in her face. The bruises were still there. When Tony found her, she was a bloody mess. She had been beaten up and left for dead. She was barely breathing, pulse weak. She had looked so helpless. So fragile. Tony had been scared to even touch her. Scared she would break in his hands.

Even beat up, she was beautiful. He was surprised at that. Not that he doubted it.

Tony felt a hand on his shoulder, bringing him away from his thoughts. He looked up to see Gibbs standing beside him. Tony stood and followed him out of the room.

“You’re looking better. Get some sleep?”

“A few hours, here and there. What’s up, boss?”

“CSU has finished searching and processing the house.”

“Find anything?”

Silently, Gibbs handed over a plastic evidence bag. Tony took it in his hands and looked at it. It was a note.

“Agent DiNozzo,
What happened was only the
Beginning of what we are capable of.
That beautiful woman was an
Unfortunate victim. We are
Claiming responsibility however.

Yours, in the name of
Jeffrey White.”

Tony’s hands were shaking by the time he finished reading the note. He looked at Gibbs with tears in his eyes.

“We found it underneath the phone. Addressed to you.”

“Prints?”

“Nothing. No DNA either. Whoever wrote it was especially careful.”

“So this wasn’t random? She’s lying in that bed, in a coma, for what?! Revenge? Someone’s sick and twisted joke?”

Gibbs shook his head. “Calm down, Tony. Those are all legitimate questions. And we will find the answers to them. But you are too close to this. I have been authorized to give you paid leave. You can stay here.”

“Thanks. But you will keep me posted right?”

“Every step of the way. How is she?”

“In and out. Mostly out. I keep waiting for her to open her eyes.”

“She will. And you will be the first one she sees.”

Tony smiled shyly. “I just can’t pull myself away from her side.”

“Right now, that’s where you should be.” Gibbs grinned as he headed to her room.

Tony watched and silently thanked Gibbs for being his friend.

*********************************

Eighteen days. That was how long Tony had sat at the bed side. How long it took for a change.

Tony had stepped out for a shower. When he returned, he found the doctor and some nurses in the room. Rushing over to the bed, he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw her awake and looking at the doctor.

Tony sat in the chair and took her hand in his. Looking at the doctor, he waited.

“She’s been awake about 10 minutes. She asked for you.” he said as he looked at Tony. “We’ll leave you. I’ll check back.” With that, he left the room.

Tony nodded as looked over. He smiled at her, with tears in his eyes.

“Welcome back.”

“Hey….” she took a breath. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Scaring you.”

Tony grinned. “You did that. As long as it doesn’t happen again.”

She smiled slightly. “I promise.” She paused before continuing. “Did you catch them yet?”

“Not yet. Gibbs will be in tomorrow to ask you some questions….at least I’m guessing he will once I tell him you’re awake.”

She nodded at him. “Call him in the morning. For now, you look like you need to sleep.”

He nodded and curled up next to her, careful not to hurt her.

“I missed you.” he whispered.

“I love you, Tony.”

“I love you too, Charisma.”

******************************************************

The End

[Tonyzgir]

Part three to followup. There may be more, but I am not sure yet. Let me know what you think.



Silence

Running away never solved Kate’s problems. Yet, she had done it all her life. Somehow, it made her feel better, even if it was just temporary.

For some reason, being at NCIS had settled her down. She felt grounded there. And she liked her coworkers. All of them.

Right now, she was sitting in the waiting room of the shrink Gibbs had sent her to see. Sent everyone to see, after what happened to Charisma.

She could see Gibbs’ side of things. The reason he wanted them to talk to someone. She just disliked shrinks.

She sighed and waited.

*****************************************

“I want to start with Brad, Agent Todd.” said the doctor.

“We were going to get married. Then I lost him.”

“How did it happen?”

“He was hit by a drunk driver while crossing the street.”

“What happened to the driver?”

“Sentenced to eight years.”

“Were you okay with that?”

“Not to start with. I was angry. Brad died on Christmas Eve. I lost a huge part of my life when he died. I hurt for a long time. I felt the guy should have gotten more.”

“Now?”

“I’m better. I still miss him, but it is getting easier.”

“Tell me about your NCIS teammates.”

“They are an amazing group of people. Completely individual people, but great as a group.”

“You get along with everyone?”

“Usually.”

“Even Agent DiNozzo?”

“Mostly. Somedays are harder then others. We fight quite a bit, but we have our moments when we are okay.”

“Is it you or him?”

“Both, I think. We both do stupid things that set each other off. Mostly accidental, but sometimes deliberate.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know…..maybe to see how far we can push each other.”

“Why?”

“We act like kids. Sometimes I think it’s just to get under each other’s skin. To show who is boss, I guess.”

“Does it work?”

“Not usually. Neither is better then the other.”

“What about lately?”

“We’ve been getting along better. Not as much bickering.”

“Why do you think that is?”

“Charisma.”

“She’s your friend?”

“Yeah, I guess. But it has more to do with what happened to her.”

“Why do you say that?”

“I saw a side of Tony that I don’t get to see often.”

“And?”

“It touched me. I saw that Tony was a sweet, caring, loving guy. Something I don’t see everyday.”

“So….”

“I have a new respect for him. I see now he isn’t a Neanderthal.”

“Charisma?”

“She’s great. I have a lot of respect for her. In many aspects.”

“Like?”

“She’s brilliant. An anthropologist. She’s funny. Her patience with Tony is great. She loves him. And it shows in everything she does.”

“What about her father?”

“Gibbs? He is a hard nosed…..nice guy, to use one of his terms. But I respect the man. And I enjoy working with him.”

“For what reasons?”

“He’s ex-marines. Smart, cunning, and a wonderful teacher. He has taught me more in the short time I have been at NCIS then I could ever learn being with the Secret Service. I always look to him for guidance, even if it doesn’t seem like it.”

“Our hour is almost up. Is there anything you want to ask me?”

“Not right now.”

“If anything comes to mind, you know where to find me.”

“Thanks.” Kate answered as she stood and left the room.

Leaving the building, she noticed it was still daylight out. Sighing, she headed to her car. Silently, she drove back to the office.

*******************************

There are some things better left unsaid. Like the things that Kate wanted to tell Tony right now. She was still worried about him. Charisma was home, but she was in a wheelchair. Would be for a while. Tony was scared. So was everyone else. No one knew really what to say.

Kate sat down next to Tony. “You okay?” she asked quietly.

“You’re awake….I hate you.” he answered sarcastically. He smiled at her confused look.

“You need to talk?”

“I’m fine, Kate. Really.” He stood and walked away from her.

Kate knew different. She also knew that she couldn’t force Tony to talk to her.

Quietly, she stood and walked over to him. Slipping her arms around him, she hugged him. She noticed his face when she walked away.

Sometimes, the sweetest song is silence.

*************************************************

The End

[tonylover]

i loved it you need to continue it on and tell us what Kate said to Tony i am dying to know what she said i loved the way you wrote the story it took me one and a half hours to read the whole thing but i got through it you have to write more i absilutly loved it for about the third or fourth time but plz continue on plz plz plz plz
love allwayz TL

[Tonyzgir]

Thanks so much for your comments. I am writing more fics to follow this one, but for now, I have some drabbles I hope you enjoy.

Asshat

“That was completely uncalled for, Tony. The guy was starting to talk.” yelled Kate.

“He was lying to us, Katie.”

“How do you know that?”

“His body language. His shifty eyes. The fact that he had no idea what he was talking about. Pick one!”

“You could be right.”

“I’m always right,” smiled Tony.

“Sure you are. As long as you believe that.” answered Kate.

“Always, Kate. Always. Besides, we caught him, didn’t we?! He can lie all he wants. We know he did it.”

“You’re an asshat, Tony. Keep that in mind.”

“Asshat?” he asked, confused.

“Ask Gibbs,” she quipped.

*****************************************************************

Survival

He’s lying in that hospital bed for no good reason. Some stupid woman stole some stupid bug just because of her daughter’s stupid joke.

How fair is that?

It should have been me. I’m in charge. I should have been the one to open that letter. Instead, my best agent is dying.

Damnit!!!!!

How do I tell everyone he’s going to be fine when I’m not even that sure myself?

How do I tell Charisma? She’s going to be so devastated. She’ll want to be by his side, just like he was hers.

The hell he’s going to die. Not now!

************************************************************

Rain

She stood outside, hiding her tears in the rain. Even then, she knew people could tell she had been crying. He was her friend, after all.

And her partner.

No matter how mad he made her, she never wished him dead. Now, he was lying in that hospital bed because some woman was crazy.

She felt like screaming.

She wanted to be in there with him. So he wouldn’t have to be alone. But she stood outside instead, crying.

It had broken her heart to hear him cough. And all he did was joke about catching her cold.

So she cried.

*************************************************************

Isolation

Isolation. Such an ugly word. Especially when they’re talking about you.

No visitors. No human contact.

No chance.

I hat being isolated from people. I like having people to talk to.

I am so bored!

I wish Kate could’ve stayed with me. At least then I had somebody to converse with.

I miss Charisma.

Abby’s going to worry her.

I wonder how mad at me Gibbs is.

I wonder who gets my desk. It’s such a mess right now. I shoulda kept it neater.

Maybe I’ll count the lights in here. That’ll keep me busy for a while.

I hope.

********************************************

Faith

She had never been a religious person but she was making up for that now.

What a sight she must have been. Praying in church with all her tattoos. She felt she had to.

For Tony’s sake. He needed her.

She just hoped that Gibbs would understand. She was waiting for some test results and the church was only around the corner.

She had her phone.

She never understood the meaning behind religion. How could people have faith in something they would never see?!

She had faith in science. Science had results she could see.

She had faith in Tony.

********************************************************

Firsts

The first time I met him, he was a young homicide cop out of his element.

So nervous around his new boss. So eager to please. So willing to learn.

The first time he got shot, he was so scared. So afraid he would be replaced.

The first time he saw Charisma, he fell in love. For the first time.

He’s dying. Some stupid woman is killing him. How many firsts are left in this poor, young mans future?

His first child.

His first grandchild.

I want to believe he will experience these firsts.

For the first time, I’m silent.

*******************************************

Competition

He’s the senior agent. Right below Gibbs. He’s good at his job. No, great at his job. He’s smart, savvy and funny.

He’s competition.

Not in a completely bad way. He’s competition because of what he teaches me. Because of how he passes his knowledge on.

And because of Abby.

They’re friends. Best friends. He knows more about her then I ever will.

That’s my competition.

Now, he’s dying because of some stupid woman.

I like the competition and I like the lessons.

Hell, I even like being called ‘Probie’.

He can’t die.

It wouldn’t be the same around here.

**********************************************

Comfort

He’s dying in a sterile hospital bed. Alone.

He needs me and I can’t be near him. This is when he needs me the most.

Kate offered to stay with him, bless her. She doesn’t want to be alone anymore then I do.

“He’s dying, Ducky.”

That was the first thing I heard after arriving at the hospital.

He’s dying and I can’t help him.

Please don’t take him from me. I need him. He’s my rock. The only man I have ever truly loved. I don’t know if I can live without him.

I find comfort in dad’s arms.

**************************************************

End Of The World

“My car. My beautiful car.”

“It’s not the end of the world, Tony.”

“You don’t know that, Kate. That car was special to me.”

“You’ll live, Tony. I promise.”

“It won’t be the same.”

“You’ll get another car.”

“Another car?! Another c…? You’re a cruel woman Kate. You know that? An absolutely cruel woman.”

“It’s just a car, Tony. I don’t see what the big deal is.”

“You just wouldn’t understand.”

“Explain it to me.”

“I’d rather not.”

“Fine. Then stop whining about it. I don’t want to hear it anymore.”

“Cruel, Kate. Remember that. You’re a cruel, cruel woman.”

**************************************************

Objection

“But, boss…” Tony whined.

“I don’t want to hear it, DiNozzo. Just do as I ask.”

“Fine. Do I get hazard pay?”

“For what?”

“She’s gonna kill me. You know that, don’t you?! She’s gonna rip me into little pieces.”

“It’s not going to be that bad. She’s not that mean.”

“Yeah, she is. Especially when she doesn’t get her own way.”

“She’s not like that.”

“Around you, maybe. But she is with me.”

“Just be nice about it.”

“Fine. I’ll do it. But you have to promise me one final thing.”

“What?”

“I want to be cremated. Less ugly.”

**********************************************************

Photograph

He carries a photograph in his wallet that nobody knows about. Not even his daughters.

It’s of a young boy that no one will ever meet. Besides his daughters.

He misses him everyday. Sometimes a little less then others. Sometimes a little more.

He remembers the good times, and the rough times.

He remembers the day he was born. Every birthday.

He remembers the day he died. It took a huge part of his life.

No matter what happens in his life, the photograph has a calming effect on him. No matter how mad he may get.

No matter what.

*********************************************

Smolder

The flames are peaceful. Standing here watching the smoldering embers is almost relaxing.

They can’t get any closer. The heat is too intense. For now, all they can do is watch.

The crime scene burst into flames as they were driving up. Now they had to wait for the fire department to put the flames out.

Staring at the flames, Tony took a deep breath. It was actually soothing to just watch them

He glanced over and saw Kate deep in thought. She was concentrating on the flames like he was.

The flames made her eyes sparkle. She was truly beautiful.

*******************************************************

Alcohol

They say alcohol lowers your inhibitions.

If that’s true, I’m in huge trouble.

I already lowered some walls when he was sick. I can’t lower anymore.

But, here I am, drinking some celebratory drinks with my colleagues. Gibbs is even here!

So is his fiancé.

Who knew how I really felt about him?

I certainly didn’t.

It took him almost dying for me to learn that.

I always thought of him as a co-worker. A friend at most. It never crossed my mind that there could be more.

Now, we’ll never know. Not while he’s marrying Charisma.

She’s my sister!

***************************************************

Unforgettable

Unforgettable.

That’s the only way to describe her.

Beautiful, long brown hair, piercing blue eyes (she gets those from her dad) and brilliant.

And she loves me!

That, I find hard to believe.

I don’t know how I got as lucky as I did, but I did.

She invades my thoughts.

Not that I’m complaining.

I am the luckiest man on earth. And I mean that with every fiber of my being.

Even though her father scares me to death, I wouldn’t trade my life with her for anything.

She is my life. Every little, tiny bit of it.

Unforgettable.

*******************************************************

[Tonyzgir]

Here are some more drabble. I don't know if anyone is reading these or not, but I'll post them anyway.

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Title: Midnight
Author: Tonyzgir
Warning: none
Disclaimer: I don’t own NCIS, but I would like to borrow Tony from time to time…….

Midnight

Tony watched the clock on his computer tick away.

1145.

He shouldn’t still be here. None of them should. But Gibbs said they had to finish the case before he sent them home.

1150.

He was so bored. There was really nothing to do until the test results came back. That in itself could take forever.

1155.

He found himself tapping his pencil on the desk. The only reason he even noticed was because Kate cleared her throat.

1157.

Could the day go any slower? He wanted to leave but he knew Gibbs would kill him if he did.

1200.

**************************************************

Title: Mistakes
Author: Tonyzgir
Warning: none
Disclaimer: I don’t own NCIS, but I would like to borrow Tony from time to time…….

Mistakes

He tried to teach them how to be the best agents they could possibly be.

Everyone makes mistakes.

He has made some. He knows he has.

He just hoped he has taught them well enough to learn from the mistakes made.

He had a lot of faith in his agents. He knew they were smart.

He knew they’d be able to carry on if anything ever happened to him.

He had dreams. Dreams of walking both of his daughters down the aisle.

Dreams of holding grandkids.

He’d make no mistakes.

************************************************

Title: Letting Go
Author: Tonyzgir
Warning: none
Disclaimer: I don’t own NCIS, but I would like to borrow Tony from time to time…….

Letting Go

I had this thing that had a grip on my mind for so long. It felt like an eternity.

Finally, it’s grip is loosening.

I don’t think about it as much anymore.

The nightmares are becoming fewer and fewer.

No more waking up screaming. No more shaking in the middle of the night.

No more fear.

There are just some things you can never forget. Some things that never leave your memories.

Some things hung onto.

I feel lighter and better. More at home.

I’m letting go of Jeffrey White.

*****************************************

Title: Lasts
Author: Tonyzgir
Warning: Character Death
Disclaimer: I don’t own NCIS, but I would like to borrow Tony from time to time…….

Lasts

Death seems so final.

The end of an era, so to speak.

Why does death have to end everything?

I watched helplessly as she struggled for breath. Shot in the chest while eating lunch. While eating lunch with me.

Her heart is slowing. She’s getting weaker. And I can’t do anything but hold her blood in.

Or at least try to.

I fight back tears. She has been such a friend to me lately, I don’t know what I’ll do without her.

No more jokes.

No more comments.

No more sideways smiles and friendly banter.

She takes her last breath.

***************************************

Title: Betrayal
Author: Tonyzgir
Warning: Character Death
Disclaimer: I don’t own NCIS, but I would like to borrow Tony from time to time…….

Betrayal

Gibbs hated being lied to. Especially when the person who lied never lied the same way twice.

Liars never kept their stories straight. They couldn’t remember what they had said from one story to another.

That’s how they catch them.

Gibbs was betrayed by someone he thought he could trust. Someone who had never steered him wrong.

Until now.

He sat and wondered how he could have been steered so wrong by someone.

He always tried to be careful.

Never trusted to easily.

He blamed himself for what went wrong. He had trusted too easily.

It had gotten him killed.

***********************************************************

Title: Damage
Author: Tonyzgir
Warning: Character whumping…….sorry guys. I got the idea from all the speculation that is running around due to the season finale. There are a few. I’ll let you know which ones they are.
Disclaimer: I don’t own NCIS, but I would like to borrow Tony from time to time…….

Damage

Everything hurts.

Physically, mentally, emotionally.

I feel like I’ve been shot.

But I wasn’t. He was. Now, he’s lying in the hospital and I can’t help him.

He can’t die. He needs to walk Charisma down the aisle on our wedding day.

Hold his grandkids.

Now, he may not get that chance.

Just because some stupid person decided he’d be better off if Gibbs were dead.

That is the furthest thing from the truth.

He’d actually be worse off. Cause if Gibbs dies, he’ll get the death penalty.

Cause I’ll kill him where he stands.

The damage is done.

************************************************

Title: Reality/Unreality
Author: Tonyzgir
Warning: Death implied
Disclaimer: I don’t own NCIS, but I would like to borrow Tony from time to time…….

Reality/Unreality

“I’m sorry Agent Gibbs. We did all we could. The damage was just too severe. Your son is gone.”

“Thanks for the car, dad. I love it.”

“Ms. Todd? There were complications during your fiancé’s surgery. We did what we could. I’m sorry. He’s gone.”

“We’re gathered here to join these two people in holy matrimony.”

“Tim? I am so sorry to tell you this but your sister is gone. There was nothing we could do.”

“Happy Birthday sis.”

“I really liked him.”

“Tony, Jeffrey White wants to talk to you at the prison.”

The shot rang out from nowhere.

*********************************************************

Title: Results
Author: Tonyzgir
Warning: none
Disclaimer: I don’t own NCIS, but I would like to borrow Tony from time to time…….

Results

The lights blink in steady succession.

I stare at them.

I don’t have much else to do. Except wait.

Gibbs wants answers. I can’t give him any until the tests are done.

You can’t rush science.

I keep telling him that but he just doesn’t care.

He can be so impatient sometimes!

That doesn’t mean I don’t love him thought. He is my father after all. I can’t help but love him.

Even at times when he infuriates me!

Which is quite often.

He’s just doing his job. That I understand.

I can tell him something. The results are in.

***************************************************

Title: I’ll Remember You
Author: Tonyzgir
Warning: Character death…….sorry guys. I got the idea from all the speculation that is running around due to the season finale. There are a few. This in one of them.
Disclaimer: I don’t own NCIS, but I would like to borrow Tony from time to time…….

I’ll Remember You

The bullpen seems empty. It’s deathly quiet in here.

Death……

He’s gone.

It’s so different around here without him. Like some piece of the puzzle is missing.

Except we know exactly where he is.

He’s laying on a cold, metal slab in Ducky’s morgue.

Such a cold end for such a great guy.

He was such a great agent. A wonderful addition to our team.

He was also a great friend. Something I never told him.

I guess I just couldn’t find the right words to tell him that.

He’ll always be Probie to me.

I’ll remember you, Tim McGee.

***************************************************
To Be Continued

[Tonyzgir]

Drabble Continued

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Title: Guilt
Author: Tonyzgir
Warning: Character death…….sorry guys. I got the idea from all the speculation that is running around due to the season finale. There are a few. This is one.
Disclaimer: I don’t own NCIS, but I would like to borrow Tony from time to time…….

Guilt

I should have been a better friend to him. I shouldn’t have been such an ass all the time.

And yes, I am capable of not being an ass.

Not that I share that with most people.

But, I still should have been nicer to him.

Who would have thought that he would have ended up where he did? I feel guilty. Like I should have done something.

And now, he’s laying on a slab in Ducky’s morgue. Now, I can’t make it up to him.

If only.

I feel guilty.

************************************************************

Title: Fear
Author: Tonyzgir
Warning: Character whumping…….sorry guys. This one is for “SWAK”<br>Disclaimer: I don’t own NCIS, but I would like to borrow Tony from time to time…….

Fear

He never shows fear. Yet I know he’s scared.

He has to be. Because he all are.

He’s dying. That would scare anyone.

Yet, he doesn’t show he’s afraid.

I have enough fear for both him and I. And probably everyone else we work with as well.

He should be scared.

I am so mad at him right now! Not because he’s dying but because he’s not showing any fear.

I wish he would just do something. Scream, throw things, something.

Instead, he just lays there, cracking jokes like nothing is different.

But it’s all different.

He’s not afraid.

Tony.

************************************************

Title: Unconventional
Author: Tonyzgir
Warning: None
Disclaimer: I don’t own NCIS, but I would like to borrow Tony from time to time…….

Unconventional

“You may not like his methods but you gotta admire the results,” Gibbs had said.

That was so true. Unconventional was definitely a word to describe Tony.

Funny was another.

Sure, I roll my eyes at some of the things he says. That doesn’t mean I don’t think he’s funny.

He just doesn’t need to know that.

I’d never hear the end of it.

He’s hard not to notice. And not just because he sits across the bullpen from me.

He’s Tony. His personality makes him noticeable.

Not that I would trade his presence for anything.

He is unconventional, alright.

*************************************************

Title: Red
Author: Tonyzgir
Warning: None
Disclaimer: I don’t own NCIS, but I would like to borrow Tony from time to time…….

Red

She looks great in red. Probably her dark hair.

She should definitely wear it more often.

But it clashes with her Goth persona.

She only wears it on special occasions.

Like today.

But today is not really a special occasion. She just decided to wear it.

For me.

My first day back at work after being sick.

Isn’t she sweet?

If I wasn’t engaged to her sister, I would definitely make a play for her.

Again.

This time, I wouldn’t screw it up though, like I did before. I’m actually surprised she still talks to me.

Looks great in red.

*****************************************************************

Title: Memories
Author: Tonyzgir
Warning: Death, but not of a character
Disclaimer: I don’t own NCIS, but I would like to borrow Tony from time to time…….

Memories

Memories are made of this.

Where the hell did that come from?

At a time like this, why the hell am I thinking about a damn song?!

It’s his birthday. He’d be 14 today. Almost a man.

Time flies, doesn’t it?!

It seems like just yesterday he was born.

Or we lost him.

That’s the memory that’s freshest. Not the good times. Those I have to think about. But the memory of that day is always front and center.

Sometimes, it’s all I think about. It’s on those days I’m hardest on my team.

They just don’t know the truth.

**********************************************

Title: Confessions
Author: Tonyzgir
Warning: None. Just a silly piece. See if you can figure out who is who.
Disclaimer: I don’t own NCIS, but I would like to borrow Tony from time to time…….

Confessions

“I am terrified of needles. That’s why only my ears are pierced.”

“I never played sports in school because my parents didn’t want me to break any bones.”

“Growing up, I was terrified the queen was going to have me kidnapped if I got poor grades in school.”

“I have two tattoos. One is on my lower back and one is on my hip. One was the result of a drunken night. The other was because I wanted to.”

“The reason I’m scared of vampires is because I watched horror movies before my parents said I could.”

“I have none.”

**********************************************************************

Title: Heroes
Author: Tonyzgir
Warning: Character death…….sorry guys. I got the idea from all the speculation that is running around due to the season finale. There are a few. This is one
Disclaimer: I don’t own NCIS, but I would like to borrow Tony from time to time…….

Heroes

Even heroes have the right to dream.

No, I’m not calling myself a hero. I don’t think I deserve that title. I haven’t don’t anything to deserve it.

Except maybe die.

Yes, you’re reading that right. I’m dead!

I know you’re thinking, ‘how is that possible?’, but here we are.

See, I died in the line of duty, which means, I get the full military funeral and everything.

A awfully nice flag!

That’s what my survivors get.

The love of my life gets a stupid flag!

How fair is that?

My legacy at NCIS is a stupid flag.

I’m no hero.

***********************************************************

Title: Forget
Author: Tonyzgir
Warning: Character death…….sorry guys. I got the idea from all the speculation that is running around due to the season finale. There are a few. This is one.
Disclaimer: I don’t own NCIS, but I would like to borrow Tony from time to time…….

Forget

“Don’t forget me,” she whispered as her heart stopped.

I cried as I felt her hand go limp.

She was gone.

It seems like only yesterday she joined NCIS.

Now, I’ll never see her again.

No more morning banter.

No more of her sweet smile.

No more of her.

It’s never going to be the same around here. Not without her in the desk across from me.

I’ll miss that sparkle in her eyes when she had a plan.

In my own way, know I loved her.

She’ll never know.

“I’ll never forget you,” I whispered to the wind.

************************************************

Title: Lights Out
Author: Tonyzgir
Warning: Character death implied…….sorry guys. I got the idea from all the speculation that is running around due to the season finale. There are a few. This is one.
Disclaimer: I don’t own NCIS, but I would like to borrow Tony from time to time…….

Lights Out

Gibbs took one last look around the empty bullpen.

Empty because his team had been reassigned.

What was left of them anyway.

One agent killed in the line of duty and they force him to retire.

And split up his team.

His family.

Nothing would ever be the same again.

It was hard for him to believe that they were being split apart. They had been together so long that it would feel weird to work with anyone else, no matter how good.

He’d miss them, all of them. No matter what he may say.

He shut the lights out.

*************************************************************

Title: Retribution
Author: Tonyzgir
Warning: Swearing. Character death implied…….sorry guys. I got the idea from all the speculation that is running around due to the season finale. There are a few. This in one.
Disclaimer: I don’t own NCIS, but I would like to borrow Tony from time to time…….

Retribution

He’ll pay.

Whoever he is.

Someone took the life of one of my agents.

One of my friends.

I should just shoot whoever is responsible.

I know it won’t bring ‘em back. But I will feel a little better.

As long as I can kick some ass, that is.

People say that revenge doesn’t get you anything.

Bullshit!

He deserves to pay. He took the life of someone who had their whole…..well, life, ahead of them.

That deserves punishment.

Retribution may get me fired but at least there will be closure.

For me, for my daughter.

For everyone else.

***********************************************************

[mcgeesgal]

Wow...

I was like this reading half of these drabbles. It's the little things that can get to you the most.

All of this is quite excellent and I do hope you continue.

[Tonyzgir]

I have some moer drabbles that I will be adding to this, as well as a longer story that follows the end of "Twilight". Hopefully, everything will be up in the next few days.

Until then, read and review what's here. Please...please....please.....

Tonyzgir

[Tonyzgir]

Okay, here are the last of my drabbles. The story is coming, I just have to type it out.

THe first drabble was written before I watched the season finale. The second is just an extra.

Hope you enjoy.

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Fragile

She looks so fragile.

Like she’ll break if someone touches her.

She’s dying. They have to help her.

As her hand grasps mine, I can hear her breathing slow.

She shivers.

Her eyes look dull.

My eyes threaten tears.

It’s all I can do to hold back the tears.

I want to look away but I’m afraid if I do, she’ll go.

I’m not ready for that.

I don’t know if I ever will be.

Her grip is getting weaker. Her breath is getting shallow.

She’s slipping away and I can’t stop it.

She’s gone. I finally cry.

Goodbye, Abby.

**********************************************

Scars

Wounds heal. And usually they leave scars. But scars don’t have to be on the outside. They can also be on the inside.

Emotional scars.

That’s what happens when you live through some emotional trauma.

Like the death of someone close to you. Family, friend.

Or the love of your life.

I know all about the last one.

See, I loved him and some stupid idiot driving drunk took him from me.

Now, there’s a huge hole in my life.

That’s where the scars come from.

They’re a permanent thing. Not even time can fade them.

Not that I want them to.

************************************************

Future

Tony took one last look around the place he had called home for 22 years.

He couldn’t believe he had been at NCIS that long.

Or that he had become supervisor. The spot his father in law had had.

Now, he and charisma had been married for almost 18 years and they had a 16 year old girl and a 14 year old boy.

Life was perfect.

Today was the day of his retirement. He didn’t think he’d get this far.

Not since they lost Kate back in 2005.

That was the hardest thing he’d been through.

He misses her always.

*****************************************

Loss

He couldn’t bring himself to look at her. If he did, he knew it would be final. She’d really be gone. He couldn’t deal with that.

He couldn’t bear to look in the mirror, either. He could still feel her blood on his face.

Her brain.

He’d miss her smile, the banter between them. The feelings he had for her, no matter how much he denied them.

The feelings he knew she had for him.

He knew nothing would ever be the same. He hoped that they never filled her desk. No one could ever take her place.

She’s gone.

**************************************************

Pain

Gibbs felt pain like this a while ago.

She was gone. Ari took her from them.

The nice guy is dead.

I’m going to rip him limb from limb.

Then, I’m going to shoot him.

Gibbs hadn’t admitted to anyone how he really felt about Kate.

He never would.

He didn’t know if he could.

He wanted to tell her. Covering her with a blanket was his way.

He had softness with her. Something he didn’t show often.

She would have made a great fourth wife.

Now, he’ll never know how she truly felt about him.

He actually doesn’t feel any pain.

*************************************************

Remembrance

Her desk sits empty. A quiet vigil to her memory.

Tony hoped Gibbs would never fill it. No one could ever take her place here.

Or as his friend.

Gibbs was taking her death harder then he let on.

Although, Tony doesn’t see him much. Especially since he ‘resigned’.

Tony knew he’d be back, even if Gibbs didn’t admit it.

He couldn’t stay away. He owed it to Kate.

They all did.

She died for them.

She was a hero.

She will always be remembered. She was unforgettable.

Always remembered. Always a part of their lives.

Always loved.

Always Kate.

*******************************************************

Crossroads

He had choices to make.

Like who he was going to give her desk to.

Who was going to get her cases.

How he was going to go on.

He never realized how much he cared about her till she was gone.

He had to decide how he was going to handle things.

How he was going to pack her house.

How he was going to tell her family what happened.

He had to make decision on his own. No one could help him. Even if he needed all the help he could.

The door closed with a soft click.

**********************************************************

[Tonyzgir]

Okay. Here is my answer to the ending of "Twilight" I hope you enjoy this one.

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Silent Tears

“I can’t breathe,” Tony said as he sat on the rooftop, trying hard not to look at Kate’s body. As he put his head in his hands, he realized he still had her blood on his face. He looked up at Gibbs and saw noting but a blank look on his bosses face. Then he saw Gibbs reach for his cell phone.

“Gibbs! I am so glad its you. Tell me what’s going on.” Abby said frantically as she answered the phone.

“Abs…” his voice trailed off as he felt his throat clam up. “Abs, it’s Kate.”

“What about Kate?”

“Ari….Ari shot her. She’s gone.”

“Oh my…..Tony? You? McGee?”

“We’re all fine. Kate took a shot in the vest for me. Then Ari killed her. We’ll be in shortly. Send Ducky.”

Abby stared at Ducky as she heard Gibbs hand up the phone. “What do we do now?”

“That is a good question, my dear.” Ducky answered.

**********************************************

Meanwhile, Tony and Gibbs were sitting on the roof, waiting for McGee.

“Oh, god,” they heard him say as he arrived at their position.

“Ari,” Gibbs answered.

“Can we go? I need air.” said Tony.

“Go ahead. I’ll wait for Ducky.”

Tony nodded as he stood and headed from the rooftop.

McGee looked at Gibbs as Tony disappeared through the door.

“Go with him.” Gibbs said. McGee nodded and headed after Tony.

Gibbs took a deep breath and knelt next to Kate He looked down at her and shivered. He reached down and closed her eyes.

The tears began to flow.

**************************************

Ducky and Palmer drove in silence. There was nothing to say. They’d lost an agent today. A friend.

Arriving at the scene, Ducky took a deep breath before crawling out of the van. Looking around he saw McGee, but there was no sign of Tony.

“She’s on the roof, Ducky,” McGee said, his voice cracking.

He nodded as he and Palmer headed up.

As Palmer walked slowly over to Kate, Ducky went to Gibbs.

“Jethro?”

“He’s dead, Duck. I’ll rip him apart.”

“Why don’t you get off this roof? Palmer and I can handle this.”

Gibbs nodded and headed towards the door.

*************************************************

McGee was in shock. He wasn’t sure if he was going to cry, scream, or throw things. All he knew was that he needed to talk to Abby. So he called her.

“Tim?” she answered.

“Abs. She’s….Kate’s…..."

“I know. Gibbs told me.”

“It could have been me. Or anyone of us. Why Kate?”

“Because Ari is a sick and twisted son of a SWEETIE.”

He paused.

“Tim?”

“I need to see you.”

“I’ll be here when you get here. I promise.”

McGee smiled slightly as he hung up the phone.

*************************************************

Tony wasn’t smiling. In fact, he felt sick to his stomach. He still couldn’t believe what had happened.

Kate. ‘My god,’ he thought. ‘I have Kate’s blood all over my face.’ He felt his stomach churn.

Fighting tears, he dialled a number he knew by heart.

“Charisma Ryan.” she answered.

“It’s me.” he said, his voice cracking.

“What’s wrong?”

“Kate.”

“What happened?”

“She’s…she’s….she’s gone, Char.”

“Oh god! How?”

“Ari Hawsari shot her.”

“Tony, I am so sorry.”

“I need to see you. Can you meet me at headquarters?”

“I’ll get someone to cover my classes. I’ll be there in less then an hour.”

“Thanks,” he whispered as he hung up the phone.

It was then he realized he was crying.

*******************************************************

For the first time in al the years at his job, Dr. Ducky Mallard was sick to his stomach. He never thought he would ever be.

Seeing Kate dead did it to him.

She was not only a member of the team, and a friend, she was also like a daughter to him.

Now, he had to put her in a body bag like he would any anonymous body.

Except, she wasn’t anonymous. She had a name, a history, a life.

And she was supposed to have a huge future ahead of her.

Ari took that from her. So help him if, or when, Gibbs finds him.

Quietly, Ducky prayed for Kate, her family and the people at NCIS. God knows, they all needed it.

******************************************************

Abby was frantic. She was in shock from the news of Kate’s murder.

She was also surprised McGee said he needed her. They hadn’t talked much since their huge fight.

But, she needed him too. In this time of sadness, they all needed each other. It would be the only way they all survived.

She heard footsteps behind her and turned to see Charisma. Not saying a word, her sister walked over to her and wrapped Abby in a hug.

For the first time that day, Abby cried.

*****************************************************************

McGee and Tony arrived at the lab to find both Abby and Charisma waiting for them.

Without saying a word, Tony walked over to Charisma, took her hand, and led her outside the lab.

Abby walked over to McGee and wrapped her arms around him. She felt herself start to cry as he did.

“Why wasn’t it me? It should have been,” she heard him whisper.

She pulled back and looked at him. “Don’t you ever say that! It shouldn’t have been any of you. It’s tragic.”

“It was almost me. A sniper almost killed me. Ari did kill her.”

“Tim, she died a hero. Don’t forget that. She deserves to be remembered.” With that, she hugged him again.

***************************************************

Tony was silent. He wasn’t sure he could find the right words. Charisma waited.

He held her hand as he looked at the sunset.

He felt like if he actually spoke, he would loose it. As he looked at Charisma, he lost it anyway.

*****************************************************

Gibbs could barely drive. The tears in his eyes blurred his vision. He just had to get away.

In all the years at NCIS, he’d never walked away from a corpse. But this time, he just couldn’t stay.

Not when that corpse was someone he knew. Someone he cared about.

He didn’t know where he was going. He just needed to go.

He’d know when he got there.

************************************************************
To Be Continued

[Tonyzgir]

This is the final part to Silent Tears. Hope you enjoy

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Abby waited for McGee to speak. She felt it was better for both of them if she did.

Finally, he looked at her. “I’m sorry about my outburst earlier.”

“It’s okay, Tim. We al feel the same way. It shouldn’t have been Kate, or anyone. But is was. Now, we need to fix it.”

“How do we do that?”

“Let my father have Ari.”

“He’d lose his job.”

“At this point, I really don’t think he cares.”

McGee sighed and nodded. “So….Abs?”

“Yeah?”

“I….I love you. I don’t want you to be mad at me anymore.”

“I love you too. And I’m not.”

**********************************************

Ducky couldn’t bring himself to open the body bag. He didn’t want to see Kate like that again. He didn’t want to do an autopsy.

He couldn’t do one.

He shouldn’t have to. This was someone’s cruel joke. It had to be. There was no way he was going to believe Kate was gone.

There’s no reason she should be.

For the first time in Ducky’s long career, he passed the autopsy onto another M.E.

For the first time, he cried.

********************************************************

Tony had been silent so long, Charisma was worried. She leaned on him and listened to his breathing.

“I never got a chance to tell her what she really meant to me. That she wasn’t just a team mate, or a friend. I loved her like a sister. Now, she’ll never know that.”

“She knew Tony.”

“Did she?”

“Her and talked while you were in isolation. She told me she cared about you more then she ever let on. She loved you too. She knew how you felt.”

“Why didn’t she say anything?”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I don’t know. I guess I thought she knew.”

“She thought you knew too.”

He was quiet for a bit. Then, he started to cry. “What am I supposed to do? What are we supposed to do now that she’s gone? My partner’s gone, Char. I was supposed to protect her. I failed her.”

“You had no idea anything like that was going to happen. You did everything you could. No one blames you.”

“I blame me.”

“Please don’t. It’s not your fault. It’s Ari’s. Please don’t blame yourself.”

“I miss her, Char.”

“We all do.”

Tony looked up at his fiancé with tears in his eyes. She wrapped him in her arms, feeling him start to cry.

*****************************************************************

When Gibbs finally stopped driving, he sat silently in his car for the longest time. He realized his hands were shaking.

Stepping out of his car, he took a deep breath and headed to familiar territory. His son’s grave. He knelt down before the angel and closed his eyes.

“I’m not a spiritual person, Junior, but I do think you are in a nice, peaceful place.” He paused and took a breath. “I need you to do me a favor. A close friend of mine just died and I need you to make sure she adjusts okay when she gets there. She didn’t deserve this, just like you didn’t. You’re the only one I trust with this. Promise me, you’ll take care of her.”

Gibbs felt a breeze on the back of his neck. Getting his answer, he finally wept.

***************************************************************

Gibbs felt it would be nice if everyone said something at Kate’s memorial.

Ducky went first.

“Caitlin Todd was a smart, beautiful and caring young woman. She came to NCIS full force, just as she did with everything she did. She was full of youthful exuberance, that was taken from us too soon. She will forever be a part of NCIS. Never forgotten, never replaced. Goodbye, Caitlin.”

As Ducky headed back to his seat, McGee headed up to the podium.

“Kate was the first person to truly make me feel at home here. She treated me like a friend from day one. She rarely had a bad word to say about anyone. She was a beautiful person inside and out. She will be forever missed.”

Abby went next.

“Kate was one of my best friends. She was funny, caring, and a beautiful person. She could always make me laugh. She was my confidante, team mate, and adopted sister. She will always be in our hearts and memories.”

Gibbs was next.

“Kate Todd fit so effortlessly into NCIS. She was never out of place here. She was a beautiful person with a beautiful soul. She was a great friend who was loved by everyone she worked with. She was a wonderful addition here. She took a bullet to save my life and was taken from us much too soon. She will be sorely missed by everyone. Forever.”

Tony was last to speak.

“Kate Todd was one of my best friends. She was the best partner I ever could have asked for. She was passionate in everything she did. She was smart, funny and beautiful.” Tony paused and took a deep breath to fight back the tears. “She will…..ahem, excuse me. She will never know how truly loved she was. She was one of the greatest people I have ever met. She put up with my immature sarcasm and jokes. She put me in my place more often then not.” Tony’s voice began to crack as he continued. “I don’t have anything to add about Kate that hasn’t already been said, so I’ll end this way: I love you, Kate Todd. You will never be forgotten.”

Tony stepped away from the podium silently and headed away from the people. As he heard the shots, tears began flowing down his cheeks.

*********************************************************************

They stood silently at Kate’s grave. No one needed to say anything. There was nothing to say. Their silent tears said everything they wanted to. Rest in peace, Caitlin Todd.

***********************************************************************

THE END

[Tonyzgir]

Aftermath

I hate shrinks. I hate talking about myself. Contrary to what I may act like.

Gibbs insisted we come back and talk to the shrink. Because of Kate's death.

I guess it's a good idea. For all of us. Supposed to help us deal with it. To move past it.

Like that will ever happen. She was a huge part of our lives. How do you move past something like that?!

She was one of my best friends. I loved her. And I never told her that.

Damn! He knows I’m here. I’ve been called into his office.

Here we go again.

************************************

“How are the nightmares since we last met?” the doctor asked.

“Better. I haven’t had one in a couple of weeks.”

“That’s great. How do you feel?”

“Better. Not tired. At least not as tired as before.”

“That’s good. And how is Charisma?”

“Great. Beautiful as ever. Busy. It’s exam time at the university.”

“I want to talk about Kate.”

Tony sighed. “Ok.”

“She died in front of you.”

“Her blood was on my face.”

“It was sudden.”

“Yes. And unexpected.”

“It’s been a couple of weeks now. How do you think you’re coping?”

“I can still feel her blood on my face. Like I’ll never get clean.”

“Anything else?”

“Charisma and I finally set a date. I picked up the phone to tell Kate. I had dialled her number before I realized what I was doing.” Tony paused and took a breath. “It seems weird to see her empty desk across the bullpen from me.”

“You miss her.”

“Everyday. It’s hard. I guess I didn’t really realize how much I cared for her until we lost her. Now, she’ll never know.”

“She knew. Everyone knows when they’re loved. It’s just something we know, even if we’re not told.”

“That’s comforting.”

“It is, isn’t it?!”

“There’s a part of me that hopes Gibbs never fills her desk.”

“That’s a normal feeling. Filling her desk brings a closure you’re not ready for. It’s understandable.”

“It hurts. Sometimes so much I can’t focus on what I’m supposed to. Sometimes it feels like I’m just going through the motions..”

“I wish I could tell you that feeling will disappear tomorrow, but I can’t. That would be a lie. I can’t lie to you.”

“I’m glad for that. And I know it’s going to take time to move past everything.”

“You’re very correct. That’s what I’m here for.”

Tony smiled slightly. “Sometimes it’s almost funny. Yesterday, I swear I heard her voice in my car. Like she was right beside me.”

“As crazy as this may sound, that’s actually quite normal.”

“Crazy, that’s funny.”

The doctor smiled. “I’m glad you enjoyed that one.”

“So what’s that diagnosis, doc? Is there a rubber room in my future?”

“No. But there are more sessions. There are a lot of things to work out.”

“Ok. So, same time next week?”

“See you then.”

Tony nodded as he headed outside. Quietly, he slid into his car.

There, the tears finally fell.
**************************

THE END

[AngelZ]

Tonyzgir I'm going to change the name of this thread title to Tonyzgir's Fan Fiction. Afterall, you want to be seen in the crowd don't you?

[Tonyzgir]

Thanks Angel. Anything to make people read the fictions...... ;D